Because of Music and Masks
by elli.zz
Summary: You live and you dream to sing. But you're too afraid, too shy; life turns into a web of secrets. I am ghost that wears a mask. People say actions speak louder than words I believe when you sing, with love, they are stronger than any action. AH.
1. Prologue

Prologue

"And please welcome to the stage…" The café owner said to the crowd, but he paused and leaned his head to the darkened left, "What's your name love?" He asked politely and quietly. He nodded, waved to the waitress waiting by the lights and signalled her to cut them. This tweaked my interest and I straightened my back and peered into the darkness.

"Welcome to the stage, Anonymous!" He cheered and clapped lightly, the crowd started to clap too, looking around curiously at each other. A small silhouette of a figure stepped up to the microphone, lowered it to her height and cleared her throat. She didn't introduce herself before hand, like most acts do; she just waited until her music started. Her voice was sweet and soft, she sung song after song, a fifteen minute set, none of them her own, I recognised all of them; they were slow, calm, moving and very fitting to the mood. Her voice was stunning, I tried very carefully to watch her movements, she swayed her hips with the beat and her arms were raised and flowed with the music then I wondered why such a performer would hide in the shadows.

When she finished the crowd clapped loudly and some stood, giving her a standing ovation. She scuttled of stage very quickly when the applause started to die down, I stood up then to watch her she slipped through the back, I casually made my way through the crowd to the front door, I walked around the side of the building to see if I could find her but all I saw was a car driving away in the distance. I watched as what I thought was 'anonymous' drive away, even though she was hidden, I could tell that she would have been the most beautiful person.


	2. Beginning

Beginning

I am Edward Cullen, a mere boy of seventeen years. I live in Forks, I am not alone. I've never thought I can do any better because I have never had to, my life is comfortable and I love my family. I have hobbies, I have friends and yes I am a normal teenage boy; normal aspirations, normal dreams, nothing extraordinary. Just because I am normal it does not mean that I am not flawed; I am stubborn, bad tempered, sometimes rude, outrageously confident and arrogant. I guess that makes me normal too. And this is a normal story but with an extraordinary girl and the way we fell in love, because of music and because of masks.

I had been awake for a while; I decided to enjoy the morning view from my bed. It's the little things in life. I put some clothes on quickly, brushed my teeth then leisurely strolled down the stairs to be greeted by an unpleasantly cold glare from Alice. I smiled widely at her and walked past,_ I must be late_, I thought to myself, I turned at the front door as she stood there silently and still, and tapped at my watch with my eyebrows raised – I thought that it was funny but she came running at me furiously. I quickly duck my head out of the door and skipped hastily to the car. She frowned at me as she walked around the front of the car and slide into the driver's seat.

"Right, so you know this party I'm planning?" Alice piped up after several seconds of silence; she could never stay mad at me too long. Especially if she was planning a party… "Yep, I'm aware Alice. What about it?" I asked, rolling my eyes I settled to staring out of the window.

"Well I've had some ideas about the music-" She started but I grunted and interrupt her. I got a short cold look but then she continued merrily, "I was thinking that we get that Masquerade singer to perform, so you know, it's not like every other party we throw"

"Excuse me, 'we' do not through any parties. You do, I don't" I corrected. My mind rattled about the Masquerade singer, I hadn't heard anything about it. But I wasn't surprised Alice always tried terribly hard to be ahead of the trend, and she always was. Her eyes darted to mine then back to the road.

"Yes, yes, the Masquerade singer – what even is it?" I asked curiously, she just shook her head as we pulled up to the school parking lot. She sighed;

"Have you been in a coma or something?" She asked, "Oh yeah that'd be it… Why, what have I missed?" I replied, slightly curiously. It was sad when you realise that you haven't been excited in a while, happiness should blossom every day only to fall away and bloom again the next.

"Come on, her posters have been all around town. She is like this live act, performing at little gatherings for old people and stuff" _Oh, of course_, I thought to myself. "Right, old people. That should be fitting for that party you are throwing for teenagers" I could see her anger bubbling up so I shuffled out of the car and walked away, I turned around before I went into the main building and waved at Alice, getting out of the car, and she smiled back, surprisingly.

I walked into the main building and remembered was the day that the new girl was meant to be coming, it was the first new arrival in years and the school was buzzing with excitement. She was meant to start at the beginning of the year, or so the gossip down the grocery store goes (according to m y mother) but there was trouble at her old home, so her move was postponed. All this fuss for one girl, one more person, what difference could she make? Not just her effect on us, but our effect on her irritated me, the nerves about a new school, new life, new everything and piled on top of that, the whole town knowing you and your life history just isn't fair, a complete overload for one person alone.

_Bella_

Loneliness is underrated, I thought to myself as I walked head down, into the main building. I'd made my decision before coming to Forks that this is the life I would chose. Charlie disagrees, as a father he only wants the best for me, for me to be happy but he doesn't understand what it means to me. I could make friends, I can have fun, like a normal teenager but there would always be a barrier that they wouldn't be able to break down.

I can see people pointing and talking, but I keep my headphones in, turned up loudly. I walk quickly to my first lesson. I sigh when I enter and smile at the teacher. Once my papers was signed I sat down in a spare seat near the back, not by choice, the teacher had told me to. I don't cast myself as some sort of rebellious teen, can't be controlled, wild child. No, that was not me, or who I thought I was.

My interesting day went as follows; I sat down, patiently learnt many things about Shakespeare, walked to my next lesson and learnt things about geometry. I thought in my spare time rapidly of my plans for the coming weeks and how there weren't enough of them. I was racing my mind over the lyrics and set list for next time as I walked into the canteen without thinking about where I was going. I felt the eyes on my back; I sighed heavily and breathed in for strength. I turned around slowly, my eyes scanning the room, panicked and left. I didn't have any idea where to go now. I walked outside hoping that it would be too cold for other people to be outside. Unfortunately I was not invisible.

Invisibility is something that I often found myself craving; walking around with my hair bashfully covering my face just isn't enough when praying eyes follow you. To melt away into the background and walk around silently, slipping through time and space unknown. _If only, _I think to myself before I remind myself how horribly lost you would be, without a friend in world. Not one who could recognise who you are, nobody who knew who you were. I think I am half invisible.

The day starts to fade away and I drive home. It was the house I have always thought of as home, no matter how long I stayed in one place or another; this was always home. I prayed to come here at times, missing the loving warmth the house seemed to breathe for me. It wasn't the same for Charlie; this house used to haunt him, hopefully not he can start to breathe again now.

"Bells, do you have a second?" Charlie calls from the kitchen as I close the door quietly behind me, I like tiptoeing around the house in my socks; I feel taller and childish. I sat down with a big smile when I saw Charlie. "I want to talk about your decision again. I don't think its-"

"Dad, don't please... I know what it'll do but it's one or the other. This is my future now Dad, sorry" I said calmly, but my eyes were strained. I was making the wrong decision, I had made the wrong decision and deep down I knew what I had done but I was determined not to be undermined by my own insecurities. Charlie sat there in silence, nodded and smiled weakly. He felt like he was letting me down by giving into me. He wasn't. It wasn't his choice, it was mine. My weight to carry alone.

"Well, I bet you've got work to do then." He said flatly but tried another smile. I got up and walked away, we had endured that conversation too many times to be surprised or upset about the outcome anymore, just irritable that it hadn't changed. I walked slowly and silently upstairs, I didn't have any work but I understood.

I started to sing.


	3. Condition

Condition

I was staring up at an elegant white house at ten past six on a wet Saturday afternoon. The week after I had arrived, I received a call; for this weekend for someone that goes to my school. Immediately I panicked, but there was little point, she was completely unaware. I instructed her carefully of what my terms and conditions were and what I needed, she was very polite and chirpy; didn't complain once when I had asked for a part of payment before the event. I found myself enjoying talking to somebody different.

"You look really creepy by the way" Alice told me, while she strode towards me. I had on a full face mask; it was plain white and only had holes for my eyes. I just nodded, I guess I did. She didn't know who I was and this was the way it was supposed to be. She led me inside her house, up to the room where I was to get changed and left with an excitable smile. Alice had told me that there was no particular theme, but it would almost definitely be "fancy". I have been worried for a while, my biggest show yet, to my school. I slithered into a little black dress and put on my smaller, more freeing mask, plain black only covering my eyes. I sat down and stared at myself in the mirror, took off my mask and clenched my eyes closed. I daren't look. I didn't like seeing what I could be, if I wasn't so afraid. I breathed slowly before applying my make-up. When I finished I put my mask on very quickly and inspected myself very carefully again. Looking down at the black heels beside me I was filled with dread, I slipped my feet daintily into the shoes and stood up warily. I sighed, packed my things and waited to be beckoned down.

"Your life is what you make it", I whispered to myself as someone knocked on the door.

_Edward_

The house was decorated, people were arriving and I was dressed. I had effectively put enough time and effort into this that would suffice as brotherly love towards my sister; whom of which had sent me upstairs to collect the entertainment… I hadn't heard a bad comment her, they had been talking on the phone nearly every other day adjusting the playlist and Alice was very excitable discussing the Masquerades outfit. I on the other hand was slightly put out and jealous of this girl, I was relied on at parties to play the music but now it was taken from me and now it was "exciting". Our class had been buzzing about Alice's back-to-school party.

Tentatively I knocked on the door; there was no immediate answer so I opened the door slightly. A girl was standing there shyly, her fingers intertwined with one another nervously. Her eyes were wide with panic and excitement, they were also extremely beautiful. They popped out of her mask and they seemed to smile wildly even though she seemed so anxious.

"We are ready for you now" I said simply, opening the door wide. She smiled reassuringly and walked towards me. She nodded when she reached me, and rolled her eyes towards the stairs. "So you don't speak?" I asked jokingly, leading her down the stairs; she barely moved, no smile, her eyes didn't even flicker towards mine… "Well, here you are then" I said leading her up to the large table that Alice had moved and covered from the dining room. She stepped gently onto the chair then onto the table; it was placed to the back of the room, but once the lights were turned on it would become very noticeable. Alice came bouncing across the room, stood up on the table with her, checked her outfit, smiled widely and nudged her in the side with her elbow. The girl smiled but she was twitching, aching to hold the microphone.

"Kay guys!" Alice's voice echoed around the room through our speaker system. "Thanks for coming to our annual back-to-school party. We've got something different this year, so enjoy!" she squealed and handed the microphone over to her. She smiled widely, the crowd started to clap as soon as Alice had finished and bounded off the table to join her friends. The lights came on brightly, illuminating the girl on stage. The music started and everyone ushered down very quickly.

A burst of sound erupted from her as the lyrics began; her voice was powerful, smooth, strong. It was an upbeat song, it was good but I didn't think it was her. But it got the party moving they responded to her amazingly fast and started dancing and singing along. Her arms waved gracefully with the music and her hips swayed, she was incredibly sexy while performing. Her legs looked stunning and her eyes connected with everyone in the room, yet no one at all. Everybody was dancing and laughing, enjoying themselves like I have never seen; she was like a magical siren.

The song stopped but music immediately started afterwards, there was a pause in the movement. "Come on guys, you can give me better than that?" She echoed down the microphone as she exploded into the next song, it was clearly a favourite. The room started to shake with movement as the beats hit hard out of the speakers and her voice travelled bouncing in every direction. Her first half an hour set flew by, and before I realised she was apologising for leaving, promising that she would return soon to the uproar of the crowd. She hurried off quickly and rushed up the stairs, something propelled my body after her.

I found myself knocking on her door, impatiently I started to open the door but she sprung at the door and slammed it shut in my face. "Nobody comes in! I can count to fifteen on my own" She shouted through the door coarsely. I touched my face softly where it was tender. I could feel my muscles clench as I knew that I could push the door in to see her but I also knew that I shouldn't. I merely turned around and walked away. She was clearly set on maintaining her identity to herself, a secretive quality that I didn't admire and one that I didn't want to have. Her determination and seemingly ambition was incredibly attractive but the prior I did not like. I let the thoughts toy around with my brain until I reached Alice downstairs; she was enjoying herself to say the least.

"Hey Alice, your performer is really good" I said to get her attention away from her boyfriend-to-be. She excitedly left his embrace and bounded up to me; "Do you think so? I knew you would like her!" She exclaimed hugging me tightly. Alice had a pure energy about life, she was light and excitable a very child like element to her that infected everyone around her. "Yeah, she is good. Do you know who she is though Alice?" I asked, with my hopes up. Alice started to smile mischievously, "I knew you would like her," she chuckled, "but I don't know who she is. That's the only condition; we are not allowed to know who she is."

Days after the party was finished this still irritated me, why would any body with such an immense talent want to hide away in the shadows, behind a mask? I pondered it in my mind, over and over. Throughout the days I found myself totally preoccupied with these thoughts, at times I often day-dreamed about her eyes; they were seemingly etched onto the back of mind. They were beautiful, hauntingly so, I could tell, from the few seconds that we connected, that her thoughts could be read through them, they would be her only weakness and her greatest attribute.

A week later and the whole school seemed to still be talking about the party, everybody had enjoyed themselves immensely, and the "Masquerade singer" had been a great success, much to Alice's pleasure. The rest of the night had been brilliant, song after song she sung wondrously, changing tone, changing style to whatever was needed of her, you could see the music move through her as she danced, her movements were smooth, silky and they encouraged the dancing of the crowd. I hadn't been able to see when she left, unfortunately she scurried out as soon as she could and as much as I know ran home because when I was able to reach outside there was no sound of approaching or departing cars, like she was invisible.

I was become obsessed with this girl, I knew I was. I had seen the pattern before, in past fixations. I try to find out as much as I can; I had constantly pestered Alice with questions, while attempting to maintain a convincing air of nonchalance, if Alice understood my need to find her, she would be far to inappropriate, but she was not a lot of help. I had asked around the places she had previously performed, nobody knew anymore than my sister. Desperation was sinking in. At school, I caught myself searching for her eyes, but I could never find them. The girl didn't exist; only the performer did.


	4. Slowly

_Slowly_

_Bella_

My first party performance in Forks had been completely exhilarating; everything about the night was enhanced ten fold by my excitement. The party didn't stop moving and jumping and singing along until the end, they seemed to love my performance and it gave me such an adrenaline rush at being wanted like that. Admired, idolised, enjoyed, she relished the feeling of it. The days after the party I found myself lusting for more of it, and more often than not I imagined my life without the mask, without the ghostly traits of being a non-entity. It was good, it was freeing, invigorating, but if you push past the glamour and hype about being talented you, like a layer of haze over the truth, underneath all of that, you have secrecy, falseness, insecurities, shallow friends, shallow promises. I wondered whether the good would eventually outweigh the bad, but when I caught myself thinking like this I quickly distracted myself.

The weeks following the party, there was a lull in business, but from what I could hear around school there was a great buzz about the party still. People were talking about me, even if they didn't know it. I longed for another big event like Alice had held; I hadn't had many gigs after that, even the small usual ones. This was irritating me, after a popular performance I had great day-dreams about never ending lists of upcoming events, my phone lines being held up because I was needed, but here I was, effectively waiting by the phone for something to happen.

But nothing ever happened, I wandered through the halls at school and nobody cared to notice me. Everybody was talking about the masquerade singer, but the gossip about the "new girl" had died down considerably since. The party had been imprinted into my mind, and I dreamed about it, repeating it in my mind whenever I felt a disappointed. I distinctly remember the boy who had taken me to the "stage"; he had a very commanding presence, he had an air of superiority in his confidence but the way slight emotions played on his face while he joked with me, was endearing. He seemed like the type of boy who wore his heart on his sleeve, and had suffered the consequences but continued none the less. I recognised him around school, it would be difficult not to. He was stunning, instantly attractive. I had learned in the past to be wary of such beautiful creatures, they could be sly, manipulative and hurtful. I know I sound naïve but I've felt the sting of beauty and popularity.

Then I got a call, Tuesday, mid-day. A girl called Jessica, she just learnt that her parents would be gone the whole weekend and she is going to throw a massive party, with or without permission, I decided not to ask. I didn't enjoy talking to her as much as I did Alice, it put me on edge to be talking on the phone around school, also the pressure of only having four days to prepare. Once our conversation had finished, we had discussed price, location, short conversations on outfits, "I don't care as long as its better than Cullen's", and a very short playlist, I described to her that I needed more, she seemed much less interested so I left it as it was, even though this bore more weight upon my shoulders. Feeling the stress of the situation I sprinted around school until I found the music room, Charlie had told me it would be a good way to spend my time, considering I had no ambition to make any new friends. I had been very apprehensive about this, being so exposed, but with the urgency of the situation I barely thought twice about it.

It was simple when I arrived, the solution, so clear. I locked the door. I smiled at myself, knowing that now I would be safe. I quickly logged onto a computer, and started playing music streamed through the internet, plugged into the speakers, but not too loud. It was a simple set up, but effective for what I needed now, just to relieve stress. I started to sing softly, playing a classic pop-tune that everybody always enjoyed. I didn't mind singing these songs, they were the crowd pleasers, but I preferred "alternative" music, soft, slow, powerful, soulful music. I started to enjoy myself more and I grew more confident, singing loudly, letting the fast beats wash over me, surround me. Everything else had gone, I was in my own world, where I can get carried away and rarely come back down.

_Edward_

I was getting fed up of this girl, and I hadn't even met her yet. It annoyed me immensely how she wouldn't just show herself. What annoyed me most was the fact that my annoyance was present everyday, and my friends had noticed. They would occasionally ask me about it, out of the blue; mock me about my new found obsession etc. Like today, I was busy daydreaming, my head flicking backwards and forwards whenever I felt another person enter the canteen, Alice pulls me out of my reviver and says;

"Any luck finding your mystery woman?" She giggles to herself as the guys try and pay little attention, I had spoken to them about 'her' and they had revealed that they would love to find her to, which was curious as they, Emmett and Jasper, both possess another half. They tended to remain quiet now whenever the conversation arose, as to avoid an attack from my side, releasing treasured information they accidently passed onto me.

"No, no luck Alice…" I said, not bothering to contain my boredom. I glanced around to my side as another group of girls entered the canteen, noticing my habit, Alice and Rosalie started to laugh wildly.

"She's masked for a reason Edward, she's probably ugly" Rosalie piped up. I rolled my eyes viciously at her, she knew how to anger me, but looking back at her, she also knew she was wrong. Her eyes wouldn't meet mine; she was playing furiously with her food, nervously.

"I think she's just self conscious Rosie," Alice said in reply, "don't let her upset you Edward, I'm sure she was beautiful" She then continued to me, Rosalie shuffled awkwardly in her seat, while I got up from mine.

"Yeah, no worries Alice, I'm going for a walk." I said with the greatest amount of casualness I could muster and I walked away. I didn't really know where I was going; I just decided to follow my feet. I knew that she wasn't going to be unattractive, but I wondered whether that would affect my opinion of her, I knew it would, and I then hated myself for this shallow flaw. That's what bugged me about Rosalie's comment, it sat in my brain, whirring over again, it made me feel like a horrible person but the more I thought the more I tried to picture what she would look like without her mask. I could feel my insides twist and turn as I started to lose the image of her beautiful eyes, her glorious smile that shined bright over the crowd when she spoke to them. If I didn't see her again soon, I worried I would lose the memory of her forever, to be replaced by an unfocused image of beauty that you can't see or describe, but you know it was beautiful.

I found myself walking towards the music hall, I immediately stopped in my tracks as I heard someone singing from inside, I crept towards the door, my hand held out for the handle. I could clearly here her voice as she sung soft and slow, I recognised her voice immediately, but this is different music, something she could relate to, her emotions were flowing through her voice. I tried to twist the handle as I pushed my ear up against the door. It wouldn't turn, I looked down at it, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and I turned it harder, again and again. Frustration was overwhelming; I knew she was just behind the door. I could imagine her performing to herself, really enjoying the music and I urged to see. Before I realised I felt my body weight push against the door, with force.

She went silent. The music carried on without her but it wasn't long until it stopped. The silence stretched on, it was nearly painful, with her and her beautiful eyes just behind the locked door. I could imagine them wide and shocked with fear. I strained my ears, listening to every sound I could. Tiny, tentative footsteps were creaking towards the door. I held my breath as I could start to hear her breathe through the door; I held my hand against the door, wishing to feel some type of pressure back. We stood there for a while; I could hear her soft breaths coming short and fast, clearly nervous. I wanted to comfort her, make her worries fly away, until I realised that I would have been the cause. I released myself from the door and stood away.

"Right, well, I guess I won't see you later" I said awkwardly through the door as I pushed myself away one more time, I didn't want to make her feel like that. I heard a delicate laugh followed by a sigh of relief and I heard her push herself away from the door. Her laugh was delectable, I wanted to push the door down just to see who she was, but that was the exact reason why I couldn't. She was so scared about being found I didn't want to ruin it for her.

_Bella_

I felt my blood stop running through my body as I locked my eyes on the door, somebody had thrown themselves against the door to get in. I held my breath and let it out when the door handle stopped moving I quickly raced to turn off the music. My heart was still in my throat as I stood still; now that I was looking I could see that someone's feet were still blocking the light from the doorway. I stood for a few seconds, deadly still, contemplating what I was going to do next. I found myself walking towards the door, on my tip toes, as silently as I could. I reached the door and pressed my ear up against it, I heard soft, cautious breathing. We stood there for what felt like a long, long time, my breathing felt harsh and stagnated, I couldn't cope but my fingers were twitching to unlock the door, one of my hands was placed firmly against the door, seeing if I could feel anything back. I could let whoever it was see, I wondered whether they would connect the dots, I wonder whether they like what they saw underneath the mask. Frightened I rolled my hand into a tight fist to resist the urge.

I felt the other person on the side of the door push away, I was slightly disappointed, but I didn't understand why. This is what I wanted.

"Right, well, I guess I won't see you later" I heard his voice; I'd heard it before, instantly recognisable. It was Alice's brother. My mind was sent into a flurry, too many questions without answers. He joked with me, he had realised who was behind the door, and he just didn't know it was me. After he had left, I laughed at his joke, and sighed as I realised I was safe again. But my emotions were confusing, I think I wanted him to find out it was me but I knew that would be impossible.

For reasons unknown to myself, I found myself smiling throughout the rest of lunch. I felt a warmness grow in my stomach and spread throughout my body. At the same time my stomach was in knots, I didn't know whether I was safe anymore, this thought made me incredibly nervous. I smiled to myself for the next couple of days, unnaturally happy. A fact that my Dad decided not to overlook;

"Jesus Bells, I've never seen you smile like that" He said to me whilst I was washing up in the evening. I was humming along to some old songs on the radio and Charlie was beaming to himself as I started to sing along as well.

"Do you want me stop smiling Dad?" I asked jokingly, he laughed and turned up the radio, "Of course not" He smiled widely at me before he started to dance. I sang with the song while he danced with the biggest smile on his face and I savoured the moment as I didn't know how long it would last. We laughed as the song started to fade away and Charlie pulled me into a hug. Later that evening when I was in bed, nearly going to sleep, he crept in and stood in the doorway.

"You are such a beautiful person Bella, you don't need to hide, from me, or anyone" He said with a tone of remorse, which confused me but it was thoughtful all the same. I smiled encouragingly at him; he nodded and gave a weak smile as I snuggled down into bed. He backed out of the room as I turned off the light, although the room was subdued in darkness, I'd never felt brighter.


End file.
